Thursday, July 30, 2009
Watching trees moving in a summer wind has always had a calming effect on me. Trees often strike me as incredibly effortlessly beautiful, even when relatively still, but their interaction with the kinetic energy of wind I find utterly fascinating. And not in a mental sort of, "I must understand this phenomenon" kind of way. I am truly fascinated, the way a child can be fascinated by something wonderful that it's never seen.
I think it's their utter neutrality that gets me. The way they move and bend and adjust to each movement of air and then are instantly ready for the next. They don't seem to care if anyone is watching or appreciating their beauty. They don't seem to be trying to be "better" trees. They're just expressing their nature, moment by moment, over and over, as long as they live.
I want to sing that way. As I look back, or forward, or directly at my current life, I want to see that I'm singing like those trees are. I want to see that I'm adding my song to the chorus of life on this planet. And not just in my songs themselves, or in the way the music sounds, but also in how I live all the time. I want my body, like those trees, to express my nature and I want to be conscious of this as I live.
In order to sing the way I like to sing, I need to be in a certain state of mind and body, and it's important to me to express and share this state when I sing. It's as important to me as it is to share the music itself. This is one reason why I don't mind it so much if people don't listen to or respond overtly to my music. Even if they're immersed in their real or virtual worlds, and don't really hear or get my songs, I feel that unconsciously their bodies get the message my body and voice are sending.
I think trees have this effect on people too. Even if we aren't aware of them consciously, they have an effect on our bodies. So I want to be like these trees in the wind. I want to sing first and foremost because it's in my nature to sing. And I want to sing the songs that fit that nature best. Seeking unforced balance is in my nature too. My ideal is to express whatever level of unforced balance is emerging in me at any time, but especially when I'm singing.
And then, if people like it, so much the better. I hope, in spite of their supreme detachment, that trees can sense in some way when they are being appreciated. If they do, I feel pretty sure it's not their primary motivation for swinging, or singing, in the wind...