Sunday, February 22, 2015


And How To Fix 'Em

OK, so I just watched "The Interview" the other night...the comedy about a plot to kill Kim Jong Un. Gotta say, it's a trifle but it made me laugh my ass off. I liked it a lot. But then I love Franco and Rogen...The one downside for me was that while there was some really great and funny stuff in the movie regarding the Katy Perry song "Firework", that awful thing is now stuck in head. I believe it was Dave Barry who suggested that the reason we hate certain songs so much is that they have awful lyrics attached to super catchy melodies that we can't get out of our heads. Well I can't stand and avoid all things Perry but in this case, I was a captive audience. BUT, not to worry, I have the answer to persistent earworms my friends. Don't try to get them out, don't try to replace them with an earworm you like. Instead, just write some new lyrics that make fun of the ones you don't like. And sing them in your head in your own voice, not that in the voice of the bellowing water-buffalo who recorded them. So...I give you...the answer! You're welcome.

Narcissist (To the Tune of Firework) By Gene Burnett

Do you ever feel like a firework?
And everybody else is just a bunch of jerks?
Do you ever feel, so superior
Like you are specialer than him or them or her?

You already know who you’re better than
You keep telling them—But they don’t seem to understand
Do you know that there's still a chance for you?
'Cause there is dark in you

You just gotta expose your pose and let it show
And let it grow so we will know

That baby, you're a narcissist
A selfish little crazy bitch
Make 'em go "Yes, yes, yes"
As you become depressed, pressed, pressed
Baby, you're a narcissist
Come on, let your bubble burst
Make 'em go "Yes, yes, yes"
As you turn into a mess, mess, mess

You don't have to feel like a superstar
Like you're original and better than we are
If you only knew that you’re a little punk
After a hurricane comes a pile of junk

Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed
Is everybody wants you to hit the road
         We are losing hope, you’re so grandiose        
If you want a home…

Repeat Chorus

Boom, boom, boom
Baby you’re a loon, loon, loon
Everything is you, you, you
Now everybody’s through-through-through

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