Friday, December 9, 2011

Why Do I Write?

Because I Have To...

“I think wanting to write is a fundamental sign of disease and
 discomfort. I don’t think people who are comfortable want to write.”


Kay Redfield Jamison

The first conscious creative impulse I can remember was to put the truth, at least as I experienced it, into words. The second was to sing those words. The third was to have them heard. Being liked and making money at it were a distant fourth and fifth. I write (songs, blogs, books, emails, fb posts) because I have to in order to feel like myself. To me, finding the right words and/or music to match my thoughts and feelings is a great pleasure that sometimes involves a painful struggle. I don't feel like it's something I have much of a choice about. I'll stop writing when I stop feeling compelled to write. If it's a disease, then we're all diseased. We all have impulses and things we can't say “no” to. To me it's more of a condition than a disease. I don't think any human being is "comfortable", not for long anyway. I think the human condition is to be restless, caught between the polarities of our existence. (lustful/loving, competitive/cooperative, generous/greedy, violent/peaceful, rational/emotional, altruistic/self-interested, one/separate, masculine/feminine, etc.) I think we all numb ourselves somewhat to this fundamental discomfort. For some maybe writing is how they do it. For me it's how I deal with it. It helps me accept the un-resolvable dynamic tension of being alive and conscious. Words and music can never capture the truth, but I still love to try, and sometimes they get soooo close...

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