When it suits me I’m an atheist—When it doesn’t I am not
It’s God that’s in the details and the Devil that is not
I don’t believe in omens but I’ll take ‘em if I get ‘em
I don’t believe in hunches but I’m inclined to bet ‘em
All wisdom does not agree
My ship has come in—The others I sank
Did it myself—No one to thank
And now I am crying—All the way to the bank
I’ve got a big gun—But it’s just shooting blanks
Chorus:
I see why you left me—I would have left too
And never come back—If I were you
But miracles can happen—I hope that they do
I’m not holding my breath—I’m already blue
I finally got the tits to be a pop star
But I’m 30 years too late and the wrong sex
I’m just a fat guy with a six-string and a tip jar
Writing songs that even I forget
Chorus:
I’m a no hit wonder—I’m an amateur detective
On the trail of something I can barely see
When it comes to ambition—I have lost my perspective
Am I next to nothing or is nothing next to me?
I got bills to pay
Mouths to feed
Songs to sing
Friends to see
I’d love to stop and argue
But I’m in too big a hurry
I’m too busy to worry
I love to do the dishes
I love to sweep the floors
The garbage is my mission
I always check the doors
I might be going crazy
But I am never bored
I’m so married
When you go away
I know I’ll be OK
I can fill my days just fine
But I want you to stay
Stay here in my way
I don’t want to be right all the time
Chorus:
So…Fuck me up—Throw me off
Slow me down—Turn me on
Crack me up—Brush me off
Just be anything but gone
Fuck me up
Sometimes I must close the store
Shut the shades and lock the door
Be right back I always say
I am not that far away
I might slide and slip around
When you try to pin me down
I might be hard to reach today
But I am not that far away
Chorus:
Not that far away
Not that far away
Give me one more day
I am not that far away
It would have been a piece of cake
To let you love me
You were hurt and didn’t want to feel the pain
There’s nothing I would have had to fake
To let you love me
The way you showed up crying in the rain
But I saw your attraction
Was just a distraction
Just a small fraction
Of what you had inside
I wanted a happy home
You wanted a stepping stone
A temporary Romeo
To keep you safe and dry
Chorus:
Let me be your stepping stone
Let me be your good to go
You don’t need a “rent to own”
Let me be your methadone
Something easy—Something nice
All the fun at half the price
Half the virtue—All the vice
Let me be your loaded dice
My plates are all full and they’re all spinning
I try to keep ‘em going but gravity’s winning
If there’s a Devil he must be grinning
‘Cause sooner or later they’re all gonna fall
Back to the ground where they always have been
Where losers don’t lose and winners don’t win
It’s a journey to nowhere that never begins
But as long as I’m here—Well—deal me in
Who are you trying to fool?
Worrying about who might be better than who
Dylan kicked all our asses in 1962
Why don’t you just shut up and play?
Life is tough—Is that really news?
Plenty of people got it tougher than you
You’re not famous yet? Well boo hoo hoo
Why don’t you just shut up and play?
Chorus:
Shut up and play—The sky is falling
Shut up and play—It always will be
Shut up and play—The sky is falling
Shut up and play—It always will be
I am standing by the water
Looking at the water
Wishing I was water—So free
I am standing by the rocks
Looking at the rocks
Thinking that the rocks are me
And a leaf floats by
Like a butterfly
And testifies to me:
Chorus:
Only a fool could be bored on this Earth
Nothing’s lost ‘til you call off the search
And nothing that matters is out of your reach
You’re not the prisoner you thought you were
Or the center of the Universe
You’re a big fish but you are not the Sea
So jump into the world and explore it
Nothing’s lost ‘til you stop looking for it
Nothing’s lost
Country boy pick-up that ain’t a dog
Mama always told me this here guitar
Number one Hell yes Saturday night
Shotgun God bless ain’t you a sight
America freedom kickin’ your ass
Honky tonk Hell no you got class
Chorus:
Everybody wants to be a cowboy
But sunsets they don’t lie
Everybody wants to be a cowboy
Train tracks neon signs
This is where you live
This is where you die
This is where you tell the truth
This is where you lie
This is where you hate
This is where you love
This is where your body fits you like a glove
Chorus:
It’s everything you’ve heard
It’s everything you’ve said
It’s everything in the world
This is your head
I’m gonna give myself a call
And say we have to talk
I’m gonna take me out to dinner
Take me for a walk
I’m gonna let myself down easy
I don’t want to break my heart
I’ll just say I need some space
A little time apart
I’m gonna dump myself (X4)
I meant it when I said it—All those years ago
When I pledged my love to you and no one else
I said “Your lonely days are gone—Darling, from now on
There’s no such thing as ‘all by yourself’ ”
There’s no such thing as “all by yourself”
There’s no such thing as “all by yourself”
I’ll be with you everywhere—I’ll always be there
There’s no such thing as “all by yourself”
17. Can't Help Feeling Beautiful
I thought I was going to set writing aside and work on recording the 16 songs above, but suddenly this one appeared out of no where. Inspired again by my friend Robbie Lindauer, who is sometimes pretty hard on himself. I got to thinking...and I thought, "You know if the things we don't like about ourselves, the things we are ashamed of, were really true, it would not be a big deal. We'd just accept them as facts and move on. But there seems to be this underlying sense of our own beauty, or potential for beauty, that makes these self-criticisms painful, since on some level we know they are not true...
Chorus A:
I can’t help feeling beautiful
I can’t help feeling beautiful
I can’t help feeling beautiful
Though I try and I try and I hide and I lie but…
Chorus B:
I can’t help feeling beautiful
I can’t help feeling beautiful
I can’t help feeling beautiful
I just do
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